looking to the future, it helps the club.
looking at me, i hate this organisation thing.
i don't know why i got so heated up when jiale told me that stuff.
i was infront of my laptop, what i see was darwin and janwin in their GYMNASIUM GI.
that's how i grew up and where i grow.
i cant say, let it slide and let it slide.

i should look into the big picture, yes.
but it is what that is inside that matters.
im not in the club anymore, why should i get so angry.
SHEEES,

:(

im not going away from gymnasium what , why why why why .
it's the people here who kept me warm.
now im going to the federation to start a new.
i know i can, look into the big picture.
:/

where are you?
why u din reply my smses, din reply my email, not on msn.
hey, dun go missing liddat can?
although i noe it's only a few days.

sighh ,

wasn't good today.
result suckk.
how i wish i gt better result.
was it propriate to punish dwm for lousy results when mine also lousy?
SHEES


misses my son, brothers ..

my child, my son still unable to online as they did not do as expected in their mid year exam.
what to do? miss them so much, they laughter especially.
i noe they dun miss/love me as much as i do. it's okay.
i never expect much.

xiao dii,
you never online, never reply my sms.
i know you are tired with all the stress up thingy.
i hope i had taken some off your shoulder.
i want you to know, im a kor kor who not only help you in studeis but everything la.
kor kor loves u la.
i noe you love me too..
ahhaha..

aint no loving anyone expect the three little kids i mentioned above.
so in my msn, my child, my son, my brothers, my love. actually refer to them.
they can cheer me up.
and they did .

by sharing with me .
i love sharing thoughts.
wheeee

actually im still nt as happy .
i wan to be happier.
saturday going dwn zheng hua CC.
=)

today having fencing.
tmr working,
sheees.
how to contribute to TW alumni...
can i borrow instrument hm?

i rarely want something so badly.
i rarely set my goal.
when i set my mind on something and im just a step away from it, im being ripped away.
my heart was that pain, very pain.
i couldn't stop crying.

who can i blame? only myself.
i dun wan myself to get fractured.

and because of this im bann from TKD.
with all the encouragement built up by you people has been brought down by a NO.

SORRY GUYS !
im not allowed to accomplish what you want.

im gonna be EMO.

perhaps im too emotional for a guy,
i couldn't drop TKD just like that.
I know my back is a problem and i shouldn't TKD but i heed no one advice.
because of the love of the sports and it's people.

i couldn't help it but say the joy i have when i see those TKD people.
they ain't club members to me or just a friend. they are more than a friend.
supporting them while they fight, cry with them when they lost.
getting angry when the opponent is a cheater.
what else?
bitter, sweet and sour we had together and you expect me to let it go. NO WAY !

you can ask ppl who are there at the tournament,
i was so happy when i saw janwin and dawin.
i knew they will be there, but i just wanna see and support them.
why?
i see both of them since young.
as for dawin, i seen him bridge from primary school to secondary school.
playing with them whenever i go training at jelapang or 600+ cos they said it's there.
hmm, but too bad i only see them like once every few months or even once every year.
i really hope they will not quit TKD. if not i cant really find them any more.

other than this two kids.
this two other girls surprised me.
esp gilyn.
she was a ko-ed case. (not to defame her)
she was ko-ed by zoe sim.
Now, she has grew strong,very strong indeed.
the way she fought the opponent last night was spectacular.
she improved, i did not make a wrong comment because rongde said that as well. =)

next sunday another tournament.
look forward, SKD gonna win that.
i don't care.
TWSS TKD better get two GOLDS !

miss my TKD ppl .
benjamin, dawin, janwin, etc etc .
they rock my world.
the words that come out from their mouth ain't words that the think it through.
it is the words that came out deep down from their heart.
how'd i know?
because i seen the expression and eye.
they aint lying, they mean it.
cause they reply the moment i say something.

example, me: thank you for helping.
him: why thank you? we should help one another we are club members.

another one.
him: kor kor, have to jia you and quickly get black belt. you say you seen us get black belt now your turn to get.

last one.
him: in competition, we cried tgt, care for each other. survived thru helpin one another. even though we are out there alone ppl are supporting at the back.

can you imagine those golden words?
of course they are spoken in mandrain. i translated it.
and their respect is highly remarkable.
these kids are black belt, and i seen them from perhaps from yellow to black. i haven got my black belt, i shld call them sir. then, they were sitting on a chair, they stood up and said i let you sit. they respect everyone .
i salute them.

mine you the three kids their age is from 10 to 14.
a 10 year old kid told me one of the sentence.
can you believe how touched i am?
the way he say, the tone he had.
it will always be in me.

i simply found out that im aint good at anything.
nothing is my forte.
i always thought i'm good at fighter but actually i'm a lousy fighter.
i stared at my medals, none of them are gold and i won no matches.
i lost to each and every competitior.

i want time, but i do not want to be a quitter.
i do not want to quit kumon.
i dare to tell you, i still have no interest for fencing at all.
i want to be active in CCA and have fun in it.
i think i regretted joining kumon.
i miss my night training, miss my wonderful people.

monday is coming and i couldn't do much but to continue studying.
the thought of monday is arriving makes me tired.
i want my hoidays, i want my training.

i want my trombone, i want to learn more stuffs.
i want my gi, protector and shin guards.
i want my black belt.
i want this and that but im not doing anything.

i cant just lay back and eat potato chips right?
i got big medium and small shi fu waiting to teach me.
big - Mr Kuik who has been pushing me for grading
medium - toh jiale who has been pushing me ever since long long time afo.
small - benjamin xiao di, who said, just go on september since you have missed one year.

so many instructor willing and i cant say no.
3 is enough.
i can do it.
i have to sacrifice my saturdays now.
go from saturday to night .
afternoon is at 413 i suppose den at night is black tip and above.
i hope i hope, i will improve and improve.

my feeling for today was spelt using one word three letters, fun.
i had never laughed so hard this year and i love today so much.

details right on...

morning was Tae KwonDo. i made them go the other route as i felt going the same route over and over again is B-O-R-I-N-G. and therefore i made it interesting and fun. i made them bring harvest sack and two bottles of water and i did not use them. felt guilty for that, SORRY.

afternoon, i went giant with jiale.
can you believe it we were making a fool out of ourselves or rather i am the one only.
juggling hotdogs and fall on the floor.
order hotdog and hide it at some where else.
walk one big round and satay was at the first stop where we order chicken.
hahahaha.
pick grey prawns like typical AUNTY AND UNCLE. pick and pick not half a packet never go weigh.
ahahaha.
in the end i bought everything plus drinks and food, charcoals and fire starter.
all cost me like $125 la. bullshit .

*hahaha. best of the best is coming*
i went to night training at jelapang.
hahaha , the kids there are so loved.
i was training there, and i get to know this kid called benjamin.
both of us were the jokers la.
firstly, at the badminton court, one of the badminton stand is spoilt.
we pulled it out and it got stuck and we put it back slowly.
there's one black tip boy, pull it out and slammed it back. a gray substance flew out.
hahahaha, we thought it was cement.
and all four of us ran to the toilet and clean up. it was so darn funny.
after that, i must really thank benjamin for teaching and changing my pattern.
without him i don't think my pattern can fake through so successfully la.
=.= .

after that, we were li siao-ing a little kid saying he likes jiale.
this little kid get a bit unhappy and starts pushing people around.
ended up he chased me around, benjamin stopped him.
that kid pushed benjamin and of course as a martial artiste he reflect back.
and then, the kid went to a corner and cry.
and i went to say sorry, friend friend la dun cry.\
den he cried even louder.
one of the senior went and console him and asked benjamin to say sorry.
like hello, i know it's not our fault la.
that guy pushed us.
ASS
anyway, he small kid so said sorry to him.
BENJAMIN dun so gek gao a sorry la.

hahaha. who had the last laugh TOH JIALE!!
she laughed at me from giant till herr song house.
at giant, she laughed at me juggling.
doing stupid stunts.

at night training,
she bullied me making the four boys who dirtied themsleves with cement by asking them to kick here and there/

at herr song's hse.
she laughed that im a donkey.
sheees.

she win, big laughter,
HOPE UR JAW WUN DRP !!

i seriously have nothing to blog.

I'm think I'm a little michael buble nowadays.
In case you do not know what it means, it means "SWAY".
I learnt this from a wappian, Teck Sheng, pretty cool eh?

I went for a course outing today at sentosa.
Marvellous!
I won the captain's ball game.
After that I went for a tan, and got myself brunt, hurray!
I played monkey with the year twos and threes in the sea, woooohoooooo.
It was fun, people saboing each other and such. hahaha

Back track a little more.
I went back to Teck Whye to see their own National Day Parade.
I have no comments at all, the best contingent was ST John.
*not comment by me but MS Sng.*

Lazing period..
lazy to go fencing. lazy to work..
ahahahaha.SIAN

ALRIGHT~~ went to vivo with wappian . will photo blog abt it tmr i hope...

i wanna whine..
i lost so many many chances in POLY la..
so many fun stuffs happening and i wanna join..
like i missed SSC, ambassadors.. and many many more
i hope i wun lose the GLs election
SIGH!!!!

alright~
i questioned myself for what did i do during the holidays.
to think back, it was celebrating birthdays, out to work, out for fencing.
arghh, B-O-R-I-N-G .

but it's okay, because tmr going out with wappo and nxt sat going out with da vinci for a bbq.
WHEE .

oh man, it's 3.17pm i guess i'm going to slp again and wake up for wrk.
TATA

i think a got a little bit funny,
when i do things i do not do for the sake of doing.
like when you work, you work for the sake of money.
but to me i think it's otherwise, work you also must think of what kind of environment you work it.
haha , i still prefer office style.
u see ur colleague, ur colleague see you.
hahah.

yupp, when u see this u may guess i went back to TUAS.
indeed i went back for makan session.
so shiok, i love makaning with them.
all the funny stuffs come out.
too bad due to some cases dominic has to go off.
sighh..
den i found out, playing hard and working hard is not abt doing it, it is about the company you are with..
im not saying juanru and munjee are boring, is so long nv see each other then they have to go early, pity eh..
juanru and i had a great laugh with munjee's story. so love.

my hobby is still sleeping on the bus .
just that i slept until very ugly today,
hahah, so pai seh,

life ain't spicing up as it should.
these holidays to me are slacking instead of going out to chiong.
phew~

am i that gullible or what?
hello, if i am really that gullible don't lie to me can?
sigh

DARRYL and SHUYI, HAPPY BIRTHDAY !
you two owe me a present.

do me a favour, if i am only a good friend to you do not call be brother.

over the past few weeks i had been to herr song's house and i think i had been too close to the siblings la.
as in, the sis got prob i wanna help, just like a busybody.
den when the bro is sick, i will keep prompting them to takkaire, drink water, sleep early.
argh, such "naggings" are a waste of time, cos i jolly well know they wun listen

hahahaha. sounds so like me huh?
tt's why i am MIA for so long long long...

i love to see my friend smile and be happy, regardless what.
regardless i'm at the lousy end or what.
because, the most valuable gift that i had ever receive is to see my friends smile.
i never give up on people who are sad, because i know they need help.

of course when i am unhappy, i wun just suck it down heart,
i will just blogg it out or see what i likes.
SMILES, like christina aguilera's CANDY MAN.
the way she smiles and shake, WOOOHOO.
hahahaha

there's one person who can see my true feelings deep down me, i will be happy.
cos now, only god can be able to do tt. =)
although i had been teaching / telling some one how i think and organise stuffs in my head.
remember my previous blogskin?
those icons there have some meanings.
and hahahahaha, only for stuffs i create has such values.
like this skin,i took from blogskin one, sorry no nid to guess.

these few days i hung out with,
the toh's family (almost daily)
the gingang which went out of jiale's birthday. (tt day only, din wanna mit out so often so will miss each other more. =))
violet, sagara ( some time though)
james, darren, miguel (a day)








i'm so puzzled that i have to ask this today, "does everyone know that everyone has faults?" so what he has the faults that you people can see but he doesn't know about it. i do not think this is fair for him though. distancing him, making him like a weirdo. he is also a human made out of flesh, blood, nerves and everything you can find in a human body.

i pity him, he is working hard trying to sell some stuffs that you people think that you do not need it. what about when you go to the toilet in public places with no tissue or toilet rolls available? i believe you would rather get 3 packets for a dollar rather than buying a packet of toilet roll which consist of 10 rolls or a pack of 10 packets of tissue or 5 boxes of tissue? reprimanding him is a point, making bad remarks on him is a no-no already.

time has change drastically for us, teenagers in this era, who would want to stand at the side of the road selling 3 packets of tissue for a dollar? who would want to sit at a corner of town, selling your voice hoping people would donate a dollar or two? hello, look at yourself, how much are you worth? which company would want you to work as their big bosses? CEO, head manager? mind your languages please.

adults who have been through world war two has openly stated that teenagers can not take hard work and give up easily. are we going to prove them wrong or are we going to stuff the words back into their mouth? many would say stuff back la, see carefully, who is doing so. well, i can say only a handful. the others? sitting at home eating chips waiting for money to roll in.

what can i say much? we say, if you do not teach us this and that how are we to learn? let me ask you back, when Edison created the light bulb, who was there to teach him? i bet, the whole world is laughing at him about his invention. he made it, proud.

how can we actually succeed? i think or rather venture era taught me, to succeed is to do something that many others aren't doing and believe in yourself.

i'm going too far away. so in any sense, please please, those people along the street, selling their faces, tissues, voice or acts are trying to earn a living. if you really detest them so much, tell them sorry, i do not want. instead of, GO AWAY LARH !! imagine if that person was you.

professionalism, is the key to success. MR GOH taught me, even giving out flyers, if people do not want say thank you and sorry. this shows that you are doing your job well instead of doing for the sake of doing. no matter what company are you helping, promote them. ask them to try the goods / facility that the company is giving. people with foul attitude are outside, bear with them. if you are working in example MacDonald, i really sure you would not want any customers to come in shout fuck you and walk out right? isn't this scenario the same as you giving the flyers, the person says "fuck you, don't give me lahh".

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

okay, enough of scolding. me myself is also very bad la/
here's the bottom is a few of mandy moore's songs lyrics.
i jumbled some up.
to change to a meaningful sentences.
i love mandy moore's song somehow.
i will try to upload some on imeem den put it here.
share the love with all.


i will always remember, that it ended so soon.
i then realise, that forever is deep inside.
dream help me to remember, that i have a crush on you.
sing to me the song of the stars of your galaxy.

You say everything that no one says
But I feel everything that you're afraid to feel
I will always want you, I will always love you

Oh, baby , I cant fight this feeling anymore
Drives me crazy when I try to
So come my way, take my hand,
Can U make my wish, baby you are in command

fell upon my knees, look upon the sky.
i fell at fort canning because i'm already late for swiss winds mini concert.
i did not regret running and falling for it because jingyin was there, and because of the concert i found out what's different temperament and environment which affects the sound of the band.

.

went for two bands.
teck whye band and swiss cottage band.
there's a difference between two bands.
i shan't say so much .
=D

i'm stoning , stoning in my world .
help me snap out of it can?
*snap*snap*

i can't take empty promises again.
i hate empty promises.
just had it today, and i want to slap people alrdy.


who else can i love except myself?
you? you? or you?

thought is a very strong word that i hate .
i hate this word alot.
_____ you disappoint me so much that i cried.
nope, my eyes aint swallon.
but im still so ..
nvm then.

i nuzzle my pillow, biting it at the end hard.
to vent all my anger out.
i wasn't happy for some reason or another.
i shouldn't be unhappy but i couldn't help the disappointment.

i'd never given up hope on you, you will be given grace.
but i do need time to recover from this.

WAPPO !
i miss you guys la .
really, so bad .
i wish i can go on friday.
can have outings on saturday instead?
holis is coming, aint free on wed nite, fri nite and sat afternoon.
arghh.

I MISS WAPPO .
everytime i see the sticker on my laptop i will go crazy la..

\missses...sesss,sess,,ss.s

today wasn't as usual. i met jocelyn and jie min in school to buy eraser and eat lunch.
i saw my love, cheryl teo. haha. dun be mistaken, all wappoians are my love.
i let her listen to the camp fire song song by spongebob square pants and she went DUH~
it's her reaction, i miss wappo, i hate my schedule. blar blar...

i walked in to the hall this time, it was quiet.
nobody was inside.
but luckily a few seconds later, the students streamed into the hall like a swarm of bees.
i walked quickly, found my seat and sat down.
420 was the last seat of the row.

today was engineering mathematics paper.
i thought, i can do it slowly so i can have the time to do it accurately, but i was wrong.
by the time i finished my last question, it left 10 minutes.
partly, i cant finish my paper was because of the lecture.
i will give you a bit of what he said.
"at the back of the paper, question 3, the sentence is not printed correctly. it should be electric circute." cirCUTE??? what is that. as usual, students still laugh like nobody business. =)
the next thing which made me laugh was, "if you are not printed correctly then remember to write."
then i'm like, my eyes are not printed correctly, help we draw please??
hahaha, shant mock at him anymore.

went to herr song's grandma house.
he said want to let me see someone he treasures alot.
okay, im honoured.
now im at his grandma hse.
well, the house was nice.
simple quiet .


everything is going smoothly?
everything is going roughly?
what is it?

i want nothing to go smoothly, smooth life is boring.
rough life is tough, so difficult to choose.
sheeez.

i walked into the exam hall, as usual, i'm late.
the first i saw was tables and students lowering theirs heads and scribbling away.
some were scratching their heads, some were writing rather quickly, some faces were pretty anxious and some were leaning back and write slowly and steadily.
i looked at them, with all the expression given to me, thinking that the paper will be an average paper.

i walked into the exam hall, trying not to make too much noise.
people still looked up and stare at me.
feeling a little uneasy already, i brisk walked to my seat and settle down.
pencil box has to be on the floor together with the calculator cover leaving those necessary items on the table.
i saw the paper on the desk, i wrote my name and here i go.

the first question was easy. (like which bloody hell would set difficult question at page one?)
and too the last question
question 6 was a killer.
sorry leonard, can't get 100% for ELTECH like you did.

i withstand all the pressure given to me by my body.
my headache comes, mucus starts to flow, my heart pump hard, not faster, than usual.
i realise something is wrong.
this whole week, i have been feeling this way.
i did not keep quiet, i told violet, herr song and my family.
oh well, i want to see the doctor soon.
i hope i will not get anymore terminal or long term disease, like now.
even if i have, i will still be happy. not hiding myself.. *touch wood*
i hope, it will not be thyroid doing all such stuffs to me.
i hope, i hope....

i had talked to some people who think that life aint great.
i want them to be like me.
not that i am boasting myself or what.
but true...
my reader knows i have thyroid as well as fracture spine.
two health disorders which can cause health problems to me.
doctor warned me, be careful when you are old.
feel any disorder in chest and heart quickly come to us.

now guys, does this show you why im happy all the time?
life aint happy all the time.
is how you live it through.
so what it had happen, everyday is the only day.
you cant possibly go back to 3/6/2007 and be happy when you cried on that day.
3/6/2008, is not the same as 3/6/2007. these two are different days.
stay happy everyday, you never know what will happen next.
i dreamt, i collapsed.
right in front of my love ones.
i cried when i woke up.






i flew , i dropped.
i climbed up with determination.
still, my wings are broken.

i stood up, i went back to normal but im not like the others.
i covered my ears and went crazy all the time.
im like a coward ostrich.
so what i hide my head in the ground, the hunter can still see me.

i'm open, i dont hide my problems.
for i know, friends, people around the world will stand by me.
by sharing my illnesses i feel much happier.
with people beside me even if i collapse.

sorry, i do not mean to get so emo.
im just so afraid....

look at your palm, there's black and white .
look at any coins, there's head and tails.
look at anything, just flip it and get to the other side.

in any course of life, u will only see the dark sight of some one else.
how about the bright side of life?
at any moment when you are down, actually there's another side where actually give you happiness.
to be exact, these people are the ones encouraging you, supporting you and cheering for you.
i never cheer for success, or rather not most of the time, i cheer for hardwork and losers.
im not mocking at them serious.
why?
because, it's only when you fail, you will learn something.

if you get 100% for all your test, there's no more room for improvement and therefore learn nth.
when you fail, you will keep improving youself.
like if you get 100% for a chapter, would you bloody hell use all your energy to study it again?
i doubt anyone would do tt except albert eninstein.

so, never look at the fail part of you.
flip the coin, or your palm.
see the other side of happiness,
ppl encouraging you, supporting you, hellping you and the best, u learnt something new and know who's your greatest friends.

smile .
with every dark side, there's a pure side.

today wasnt pleasant at all .
i mean in school .
things go rather unsmoothly
went to school at 9 despite there's no lesson.
decomposed in school with ven cheng.
oh well, but at least i studied for the coming math test and i am confident i can get 100%
wahahah.
confident only.