i'm getting this feeling because i'm bored.
and also because i had been thinking.
all these were my thoughts and feeling which made me sad.
you said, unhappiness is raining on you and it just pass when you blurted things out.
i'm not thinking too much.
i think i must be listening to the wrong tune and perhaps getting things wrong.
but after listening to what you say, i think you are absurd.
actually, i had already guessed and seen what you are gonna do. but i chose to keep mum.
i'm afraid that my tears will just flow like nobody business.
i do not understand your sorrows.
when i understood it, another problem came which pulled me down.
i dun wish to read you like an open book.
so i just took what you said as a joke.

i shldnt do all this. .
aiyohh.
sexyback had been ringing and made me run to the phone.
argh.

i only can describe today by using such adjectives.

WEIRD.
STRANGE.
AWKWARD.
ODD.
IRREGULAR.
UNUSUAL.
UNCOMMON.
SCREWY.
ABSURD.

I know why myself.
argh..
idiotic. can i take back my words?
haha . it's for your own good though .



there's a girl name violet teo hui min who had fed back to me that my blog takes a long time to process.
therefore, i took the initiative to change it within a day.
how thoughtful am i.

i cant think of any other meaningful blogs so i decided to make it this way.
the icons are my people whom i had worked with in the past and the present and perhaps the future.

my loved ones.

short of my family members. so uit's alright. i guess. they unds.

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5
once i caught a fish a live.
6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10
then i let it go again.

xiao di .
you must believe me, i am trying my very best.
though it is almost the same as before but i am trying.
i do not know if you can feel it, but it's okay.
i still am there for you.
i've learn to manage my time.

i reformatted my phone's memory card as i feel that it is lagging.
there's only photos of memories and some videos.
songs are all being erased because some of it are either corupted or spoilt.
so maybe i will start borowing handphone and start transferring some files.
heeeeeees.

today, my brother dared to to grab an egg in my palm and squash it.
to logic it will not crack or splatter.
but for my case the egg "BOMB!" a loud and it crack.
splatter around my kitchen and i have to clean it.
lucky my dog aint there anymore if not he will eat it up.
OH YA!
my dog aint there as it is unhealthy for my grandma to live with it.
as she has lung cancer and my dog's fur is dropping around the house some how.
so ....

saturday,
i went to look for jian hui.
pai seh leh, i'm late again because i over slept.
at least when you smsed me i'm already waiting for the train.
i passed him my shou ce then we went to look for han hui.
chatted with her for a while then i have to go down to NUH to visit my grandma.

she's alright now, though a little weak.
she's been acting hero (like everytime)
she wants to stand strong, but she must know we are a family and we know her character.
she cant bluff us and therefore keep asking the doc, "ïzzit veh jia lat?"
the doctor says no and she dint believe.
WAD TO DO??

i do not know if i can get off any other day.
i want to get off on the 9th feb.
i must remind myself.
so i can go back to TKD, BAND and find xiao di.
haha. and of course visit my chief (mdm pua), lao ma (mrs neo), da jie (miss tan), lao ge (mr ralph), and etc etc.
i do want to talk to them but i believe they will be busy and i will not be able to catch most of them.
Oh well..
see them is enough already as i go down is not to see them .
haha.. oopz =x

is this a kind of retribution .
i finally got a taste of how you were feeling a year ago.
how the neglection, the rejection and the abandon.
i finally can unds how you feel and the feeling aint nice at all.
i'm making a come back, i'm making an effort.
i know you are too.
but now, you have more to love, care and everything.
where do i stand ?
my line still stand, "i want you to hate me even more, and the more you hate me the better it is."

i do not want you to suffer in such situation.
it's hard.
i like the way you answer question.
you cant seek far and you cant look far.
therefore, you cant give me a definite answer.
tthe others gave me a definite answer and in the end the answer wasnt fulfiled.
you showed me for people really do in the outside.
i'm no longer in the secondary life.
the fairy tales are all gone .
but i believe in them.

i hope and i wish, the way i do always.
youa re not materialistic, which is a good thing .
but what d you actually want from me?
you want care.
i tried to give, the way i care is definitely different from the others.
why?
because i want you to think through your action before i speak.
as far as i noe, the moment i speak about serious matter i sound like scolding.
i'm sorry .

why some people noe their own mistakes and trouble and yet unable to change it?
is it true the a leopard never changes it's spots?
den why a person who takes drug go into rehabilitation centre and can come out drug free.
this shows the leopard spots can be dyed.
but when it is dyed, you are not showing your true self. so how how how?

be yourself is utterly easy to say but difficult to act.
what can you do to be yourself in front of everyone instead of your own family members.
or worst, act in front of your family members as well.
so how do you be yourself? in your dreams?
that's sad man, i mean who doesnt want to be themselves?

when one day, i find that i cant be myself in this country A, i will jolly well migrate to country B. At least I can be relieve and i can do my things accordingly.
this sounds selfish, think for urself first,
if u are unhappy, the whole world will seems unhappy to u.
and the people adjacent to you will be unhappy as well.

walk side by side with a partner and help each other.
with a life long partner you can show yourself.
if you can tolerate anymore ditch one side and walk off?
is this life?

i do not noe wad's life yet.
i'm trying to get an answer from father .
i dunno how to receive.
this shows how uncalm am i.
but i noe he has showed some answers along the way as i picked some up some time ago.
so wad's the purpose of my life?
i will just lay my life to him.
i believe he will nurture him.
though i say i do not believe him totally, i believe he is there.
i hope he can show himself, but he will scare me somehow. so...
ya. puzzled.

it's saturday morning 1.08 now and i am still blogging.
i've amde a few friends with the ICA officer.
though some have golden mouth and they do not want to speak , tehre are some good ones.
like khairunnisah (if correct spelling) , everytime bully me by wanting to give me more cards.
but in the end she failed to do so becasue i'm not doing the afternoon shift. HAHAHAHA
then one more lady, ask me why dun wan join jue dui superstar or xiao yuan superstar.
sia la. i just shout siao across the arrival hall.
haha.. luckily DO in the ST office.
but really siao, if i really have the standard i wun be here, like duh~

BIKES have been fun today.
our first 25th customer.
normally it would be less than 15 or less than 10.
yesterday was psecial because the woodlands asked some of them to come to TUAS because there is less people.
YA, talking about BIKES I almost create a disaster in it.
luckily i din do anything wrong if the whole system cock up i will be dead and have to answer to the court? cos it will be illegal immigrants alrdy.

so i was lucky though .
PIG year is coming no wonder i have been eating alot.
heehee.
pig year must look like pig ma.
so when take O lvlv result will have good result.
cos i'm a good pig.
haha.
=)

ciaos~
love ya.

to noe that u are fine it's okay .

eyes dropping .
back officially alright .
wad else?
tired.

How can I update myself? Let me see.

Life aint good lately.
Grandma is sick .

But of course there are good courses like I solved a problem while doing my work which saves the queue from getting longer. =)

haha .

I want to meet a lot of people .
People like yen sing arh .. mainly pri sch fwen larh. and of course my sec sch fwen with ppl like DA VINCIANS, ballers . =) and him .

lalalal`


one word to describe me physically : tired
one word to describe me mentally : puzzled

i'm tired but i had lots of fun lately.
grudges are seen to be revenged on.
revenge seems to have a reverse action.
so in the end, the person who plotted everything had a bounce back due to high ego.
i dont know , cant blame both parties, both of their reasons were acceptable.
so...

oh well; cant bother much .
woodlands is stealing business from tuas though we have some regular customers (those updating)
woodlands are having 200 - 300 customers and i wish i am there to help.
shucks.
haha. tuas is getting more and more interesting, the ICA people are cuter and cuter.
hope they will not post a boring one to me.

mei mei , even though dialysis is difficult dun ever give up ur life.
we may not be close like the admin but how can u place urself so lowly.
brace up, live on.
please. .
thanks for the food you gave us . =)

Look here look there look everywhere.
what are u looking so frantically at?
is there anything so interetesting or are you just simply lost?

da ge went to woodlands.
xiao di went to school.
she went to work.
i am working as well.

haii. at least still gt contact .

if it has to be like this every weeek i will go crazy someday.
i hate this, but what can i do?
i cant be possibly be there all the time?
i cant possibly see you all the time.
by right i should be the one getting the tame but now i'm getting the annoy.
though you wil never get what i feel, i hope you can feel it at least.
it will be difficult as i do not know when to start letting you know.
i'm desparate.
oh well;;

i guess only i noe what am i saying.
ciao~

there was two diskette.
one was the original, the other was a copy but changes was made.
normally, people would use the original copy to create a new stuff so i used as i did not know changes were made.
then i happy go and type in the time and tabulated the hours and printed 64 papers out.
checking and checking was done and i have to shread many paper away as i made some mistakes.
when everything was done and decided to hand up for signature.
the person said, the bottom one is not my name sorry redo.
my heart sank, all my heart work has gone down the drain due to the wrong use of diskette.
so sorry for the delay of work.
i will do a well done job on monday.

alright man.
have been meddling with work ever since the new year has started.
word load is much more than usual as the arrival has more and more now.
everybody is coming back from the holidays.
phew~ at least i could manage.

school has started and i miss it so much.
i miss wearing my uniform.
i miss saying good morning mrs neo, ms tan, mr ralph, mr jalleh, mr teh, mdm sharena, ms kang and cao lao shi zao an.
i miss all these.
school days were much more better than work days.
at work everyone seems to be my jie jie, kor kor, papa and mama.
nonetheless respect is needed and of course mutual trust and everything. so different.
at school can easily smoke through, haha.

today is my mama's bdae.
made mua chee for her and of course mee sua.
she claimed that she loved it la.
but hahaha.
u get wad i mean, i guess.

happy new year everyone.
though it was late to post it but i hope you will accept it.

lalala~
at bikes wahahahhaa. ghost stories after ghost stories.
say more scary one can?