i confused my feelings with the truth. why did i let myself believe that miracle could happen?

dear dear. devastation sad stuffs. poped.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i am happy today.
firstly, bro is happy even though i'm nt dere.
secondly, my family celebrated my birthday.
my face wasnt happy but my heart ws.
thanks.

OI!! MATCH CANCELLED SO STUPID !! ARGH !!

Try :@ at ur msn and it's an angry sign showing right in your face. This is exactly how I feel right now. The CCA acheivements awards make me feel so stressed up. People who was suppose to get the award did not manage to get and people who was not even fit to get the post get the post. Perhaps there is some business behind the scene that I can't see so i can't comment much.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

People weeping once again. STAND STRONG !

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I rejected offers of present and celebration but sian. I can't reject and hab to accept my fate. Felicia passed me the pressent and junhao. juan ru. hazel. christie, ying ru, teng teng, celebrated for me. i appreciate it.

I know it has been hard for you, I can't bear to see you in this way and I want to tell you, all these are going to stop. I promise you with my heart. I may not keep my promise but just trust me deeply for this time. I hope I will not disappoint you in any other way.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm too demanding and none dare to say except brother or it is only clear to him because I am closer to him and does this goes to show that I'm not a fair person? I know what's wrong with me and I change instantaneously. Maybe I'm too good a guy, I must learn a little bad stuffs like rebellious, defiance and what?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nowadays, Shuyi, dear and brother was there when I needed them. They know when to speak when not to. Shuyi will give me every single detail on how she feels. Dear will try to listen and give nescessary comments. Brother will get very fed up and push me things to let me think through. I can accept all three ways. They rock.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Have been rather stress lately. Guess what? The stupid school magazine and rush me up for three weeks just to design a splendid work up. Tomorrow I am showing the teachers, I hope I can pass the test. I got two format to it. =)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think I should apologise to Yen Teng, Charmaine and Isabel. Three of you have been my venting rubbish bin. You guys tolerated. I'm demanding, I know. I will stop and listen instead of getting into the way anymore.

Strangers? You answer to me.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spare mercy to all mentors and instructor teaching or guiding you. I know some nonsense can never be tolerated but you have to respect them. Even they do things that you never like tell them going to the head equals to not trsuting their professionalism. Imagine your instructors go to your parents and say you suck. How will you feel? Exactly disgusted.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i wan no pressie any longer.
i tell u wwad i wan.

i wan love given by u guys.

i dunno how u guys gonna present that love to me.
but i just wan love.
it's mre den a material which is useless or i gonna throw when it's spoilt ?


*no kissing
*no sex
*no oral
*no anal

heees.

many stuffs happened today.
ppl crying weeping.
it hurts eventually.

i tried to hlp. it was useless.
i found i'm nt a good fwen either.
no wonder nobody loves me.
i'm so desprate. haha.

i dun understand. suddenly everythin clogged. i'm nt the understanding don anymre la.

if dere's a chance fer u to turn everything back ppl wuld tend to say. i wan to change, turn everythin. but all dese are just a wishful dream. none of it can happen. unless u wan to be the old hag in the trade den u can go.

if i'm nt wrng many wuld say. i wan to go back to pri 6 study well and go to a better sch. but why nt wrk hrd fer ur o lvl and go for a better course. izznt tt better than PSLE
?

well am i glad that everything is over. it is not actually wad i tot but at least the person came up to me and talked. i guess it was settled already le huh?

guys, i wan to make myself super duper enormously clear.

i noe it's nt like me nt to fite back against on wad i''m doin.
i noe that perosn hu tagged seriously noe me well, cos i wun get too upset, and noe her as well.
if that person thinks i'm manipulating her mind den so be it .
i'm tired i'm real tired if venting much on my blog is a churn for others to change their mindset, i rather dun blog.
if blogging actually bring harms wad fer i blog ? i myself noe she relies alot here. i even wondered are my thinking too wide fer her. she told me she agreed that my blog gave her nutritional brain juice but i''m manipulating her mind.
that tagger maybe reading my blog right now. i've deleted all post and tag because of you. i dun wan her to see, she's too stress and u are bombing this onto her. she cant take it, trust me.

i used to vent anger on blog, by asking myself some comprehension or composition questions so i can answer dem and view it as how i actually think but i guess it all should come to a stop. any way o lvl starting.

my people my friends. i'm too full of myself. too confident, whereas hao lian. i'm confident in wad i say. nahh. i now shld be someone hu dun tok out much now.

if pride makes me delete my post and tagg so be it. one can caused my life in this devastated state thus he / she won. hurray. haha. if being an anonymous is aint full of urself. den *poof* i'm invisible.

purity-simple has to turn to compound-complicated or mixture-complication. haha. i tink dat''s a good idea.

if i hab to treat all differently den okay. my dream of treating everyone the same has ended. she wuld be my far way fwen whr i wuld hlp her if she needs. i wun go and care fer in just in case i manipulate her into a baddie. yea. my bad.

sarah. now i agree why shant we blog. it''s = to getting a bad scolding frm others. i shant open my blog at all shld i?

something hit me hard.
i would blog no more.
none wuld learn anythin.
none wuld get influenced or i wun pollute anyone's mind.
i let u win, i take a step back.